Fat is Self-Explanatory

I am not above putting a bit of spin on things when it serves my purpose. Fat has been one of those things until now.

Kidding myself about why I was fat became an event of near-Olympic proportions prior to Weight Watchers, if I am to be truthful. The things I said to myself are the same things you would expect to hear from the losing Super Bowl team in the locker room after the game as they try to save face among swarms of reporters.

I just don't want to lose weight bad enough.

Starting is the hard part.

I failed to capitalize on the three pounds I lost last time I had the stomach flu. Guess I'll wait until the next time I have a tapeworm or something.

I didn't get caught up in the swoosh...you know...you can't start a diet without momentum.

My fat is dense fat, not - uh - undense fat, so it will be harder to lose.

I'm fat even though I don't eat a lot.

My word! How much energy did I expend just trying to give people the impression that I didn't overeat?! You all have heard about my drive-thru shenanigans already. How about this one:

I remember turning down a burger at a BBQ once and stating that I didn't eat red meat...AS IF that might make people think "Gosh, she doesn't even eat red meat! She must have a Thyroid issue, because people who eat healthy like that ought to be skinny."

Really. And I said the bit about not eating red meat while perched precariously on the edge of a lawn chair, trying to look as small as possible...or at least not big enough to crush the flimsy thing right into the overmowed grass. And the truth was that I had "quit" eating red meat that morning and after drooling over everyone else's burgers, I stopped at McDonalds on the way home and started eating red meat again. But hey, I had eyes that needed some wool pulled over them when it came to my weight gain...

I thought I was fooling everyone else. The only one I was really fooling was myself.

And the "everyone else" I cared so much about impressing? They were either too concerned with themselves to notice, lovingly wishing I'd get my act together, or looking at me like I must be nuts to try so hard to look like a skinny girl unfairly swallowed up by a fatty.

To this day, I still catch myself thinking:

At least I'm tall so 248 pounds doesn't look as bad on me as it would on a shorter person. I wear it well, I think.

I only think this when there isn't a mirror around.

But, my fat is self-explanatory. As much as I try to kid myself, it is. It doesn't matter why I ate all the things that still linger on the backs of my thighs. Knowing might help me avoid pitfalls, but the one and only thing that really matters when it gets down to pounds and ounces is that I STOP.

And I have. For the most part. And I don't say that to "spin" my failures into a pretty picture. I have redefined what a failure is, though, and that's not spin either. Dipping into my weeklies by lunch on day one of my week is not failure. It is life. Consuming points when my daily, weekly and activity poitns are all used up is a problem, but still not a failure. Failure will be only when I give up. When I stop tracking. When I depart from blessed reality and start kidding myself again.

And we all know...I'm not going there!

I'd like to thank my 26 "followers" from Weight Watchers World for bearing with! This is the first "original"
post to this blog. Right now I'm operating on both fronts as I try to get every thing from WW World transferred here! Thanks for putting up with the repeated posts!